Climate Change a Hoax After All – Who Knew?

authordefault
on

Weโ€™re sorry. What more can we say?

It was just revealed that so-called climate change actually is a hoax, perpetrated by that fiend Al Gore.

Numerous luminaries in the scientific community owned up with their own mea culpas when the gigantic ruse was revealed on this day, April 1, 2009.

With the exception of a few visionaries, virtually every scientist on Earth was taken in by the former Vice Presidentโ€™s compelling power point presentation. The humiliation wasย palpable.

โ€œI am deeply ashamed for having unwittingly perpetuated such a massive fraud on the governments of the world,โ€ said Dr. Rajendra Pachauri, Chair of the IPCC, calling the grand climate hoax a โ€œcunning deception spanningย decadesโ€.

โ€œI have to admit, Al got me good,โ€ said NASAโ€™s Dr. James Hansen as he packed up his personal belongings at his office at the Goddard Institute for Space Studies in New York. โ€œDespite my decades of experience in climate modeling and satellite meteorology, I would just get mesmerized whenever Gore started showing me all those fancy charts and tables. The man is a real Svengali.โ€

In another stunning development, a clearly chagrinned Nobel Committee revoked the peace prize granted to Gore and the IPCC in 2007, and instead honored the signatories of the Oregon Petition whose remarkable insights eclipsed that of the entire scientific community.

Reached for comment, Al Gore was clearly unrepentant of his heinous acts: โ€œAs long as I can remember, my only goal in life has been to destroy free-market capitalism and replace it with global totalitarian socialism. But it seemed that traditional methods, such as guerrilla warfare, were proving unsuccessful. Then, one day in 1988, as I was strolling through the halls of my giant mansion, it hit me: carbon dioxide.โ€

For a full report of these stunning developments, see this article in the Christian Science Monitor.

On behalf of Desmog Blog and myself, I extend our heartfelt apologies to our readers and of course those visionary skeptics who, as it turns out, were right all along.

This month weโ€™re giving away FREE copies Keith Farnishโ€™s new book Times Up: an uncivilized solution to a global crisis.

Go here to find out more details about DeSmogBlogโ€™s monthly bookย give-away.

Related Posts

Analysis
on

First Nations are furious, environmentalists feel betrayed, oil companies are demanding more, and the clock is ticking.

First Nations are furious, environmentalists feel betrayed, oil companies are demanding more, and the clock is ticking.
on

The Mailโ€™s events business in the Middle East provides a quarter of its revenue. A previous Telegraph bid was rejected over petrostate influence fears.

The Mailโ€™s events business in the Middle East provides a quarter of its revenue. A previous Telegraph bid was rejected over petrostate influence fears.
Opinion
on

โ€˜Iโ€™ve never seen anything like this,โ€ longtime denier Marc Morano said recently of Democrats, billionaires, activists and reporters going โ€˜silentโ€™ on the issue.

โ€˜Iโ€™ve never seen anything like this,โ€ longtime denier Marc Morano said recently of Democrats, billionaires, activists and reporters going โ€˜silentโ€™ on the issue.
on

In exclusive interview with DeSmog, Haisla leader explains that an oil โ€œspill on our waterway would be catastrophic.โ€

In exclusive interview with DeSmog, Haisla leader explains that an oil โ€œspill on our waterway would be catastrophic.โ€