PolluterHarmony: A Match Made In Washington

Brendan DeMelle DeSmog
on

Congressmembers, are you too busy being indentured servants to corporations to find love?

Lobbyists, did that pickup line about healthcare flop with your beloved Senator?  Well, have you heard the one about “clean coal” yet?

Polluters, are you too shy to admit the things you’d like to do to Rep. Joe Barton

Well, you are all in luck.  Today marks the launch of PolluterHarmony.com, a new online matchmaking service designed to help dirty polluters and their lobbyists find that perfect politician to live forever in holy mmm…

Forget Citizens United, PolluterHarmony knows all about uniting citizens, like the match made in heaven between Koch Industries and Sen. James Inhofe.

Speaking of below the Beltway… PolluterHarmony knows that Sen. Lisa Murkowski (Rrrow!-AK) likes it dirty, as dirty as it gets in fact.  She’s on the receiving end of $111,296 in contributions from coal interests in the 111th Congress. 

Kert Davies, director of PolluterWatch.org, the masterminds behind PolluterHarmony, notes in his blog on Huffington Post that PolluterHarmony.com is “a dating service dedicated to helping polluter industry lobbyists, CEO’s and propagandists match up with willing public officials, making it even easier to buy and sell influence, sabotage global warming solutions and derail our clean energy future.”

Wow, I never imagined that such connections could be made any easier than they already are. 

PolluterHarmony proves that anything is possible! 

So, all you D.C. polluticians, why wait for all that snow to melt?  “Start your long-term collusion today!”

Brendan DeMelle DeSmog
Brendan is Executive Director of DeSmog. He is also a freelance writer and researcher specializing in media, politics, climate change and energy. His work has appeared in Vanity Fair, The Huffington Post, Grist, The Washington Times and other outlets.

Related Posts

Analysis
on

Cross-country attacks against the climate policy are coming from think tanks that belong to a vast U.S.-based libertarian network.

Cross-country attacks against the climate policy are coming from think tanks that belong to a vast U.S.-based libertarian network.
on

Controversies surrounding Sultan Ahmed Al Jaber have underscored the role of reputation management in climate diplomacy.

Controversies surrounding Sultan Ahmed Al Jaber have underscored the role of reputation management in climate diplomacy.

Major food and agriculture companies have sent 340 representatives to Dubai for the climate summit.

Major food and agriculture companies have sent 340 representatives to Dubai for the climate summit.

The fossil fuel industry has a huge presence this year's UN climate talks — including many US lawmakers who count the sector among their biggest donors.

The fossil fuel industry has a huge presence this year's UN climate talks — including many US lawmakers who count the sector among their biggest donors.